It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
