ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Randomize
