yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
