after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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