booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
