I'm really into asian looking animals
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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