So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
