Redeem this text for a blowjob
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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