I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
