4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize