i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
