my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
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I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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