2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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