I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
