Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
