I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
