My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
