yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
