i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
