I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
send nudes
from the living room?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
