Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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