So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
