Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
