I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
