i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE