I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
