Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
