Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
