I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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