so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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