Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
