Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
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We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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