But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My life is pants optional.
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