I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
