I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
