It's Friday. Sex?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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