Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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