OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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