At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
