Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
