Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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