How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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