I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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