and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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