just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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