I hate all girls vehemently.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
