Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
