She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
