He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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