why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!