Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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