Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you would pick up someone in the library
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize