Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
