big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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