remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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