so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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