Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize