i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
There's even glitter on my cock...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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