i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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