I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
