She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
