Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize