he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
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My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You made out with two different species that night
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
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The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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