He kissed a someone with a penis
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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